It's many things, but not feminism

Global women's rights organisation Women Deliver is upset over the Hungarian head of state's speech.

Kigali, 2023. július 17. Sahle-Work Zewde, Etiópia elnöke, Novák Katalin köztársasági elnök és Sabana Baszidzs Raszih, a SOLA (The School of Leadership, Afghanistan) alapítója (b-j) a Women Deliver 2023 Konferencián Kigaliban, a BK Arénában 2023. július 17-én. MTI/Balogh Zoltán Fotó: Balogh Zoltán

Many years ago, I read about a terrible incident that happened in Africa, specifically Tanzania. Charity workers in the region reported that a baby of barely five days old had been cut up by her great-grandmother (genital mutilation is to this day still a cruel tradition among local women), without any sterilisation or pain relief. The act turned tragic, the baby did not survive the brutal procedure.

And although the woman and the mother of the newborn were arrested at the time, the case is not unique: in a certain part of Tanzania, nearly sixty per cent of women undergo similar genital mutilation procedures, most of them before the age of ten, to prevent them from feeling sexual desire and pleasure, as a preparation for marriage.

We are talking about a phenomenon so pervasive that according to the World Health Organization (WHO) estimates two hundred million women around the world may have fallen victim to mutilation. Similar 'ritual activities' have even been recorded in Europe in no small number, in fact a total of six hundred thousand cases are known on the continent, most of which took place in Great Britain. The brutal tradition, which can lead to not only lifelong suffering and pain, but also miscarriage, infections and, in the worst case, death, is the most widespread in Africa. 

In recent weeks, Katalin Novak visited Rwanda, which is on the same continent, and she also went to Tanzania, where she says no Hungarian head of state has yet visited. The global women's rights organization Women Deliver was holding a conference in Kigali, Rwanda and had invited her to speak. What is worth knowing about the organization is that they fight for gender equality and the rights of women and girls worldwide.

The Hungarian press, naturally, reported on the president's visit, however, media outlets supportive of the domestic opposition parties focused heavily on the outrage that followed the conference. Indeed, some members of Women Deliver were already reeling in dismay at the very fact that the Hungarian head of state had not only been invited to and could set foot in such a grand event, but that she also spoke out, saying things like "Hungary's goal is to increase fertility rates" and that she hopes her teenage daughter will feel empowered to have even ten children if she so wishes to in the future. 

According to Bruna Martinez, a Brazilian activist for young European feminists, discussing the issue in this manner degrades women, and another activist, Beirne Roose-Snyder, called Katalin Novak's speech downright gut-churning. The outcry from members was so great that Women Deliver had to issue a self-exculpatory statement saying that yes, yes, the Hungarian head of state said and represents atrocious views, but that it is also worth listening to the other side occasionally - likely just so they could pat themselves on the back and say they did.

The Guardian also wrote about the event, saying that Katalin Novak is unworthy of attending the feminist conference because she is anti-abortion, has even commended anti-abortion activists, and also because she aligns with the views of the anti-gender movement. So they are deeply upset about the Hungarian president, who argued in favour of women achieving a work-family balance and who, moreover, prioritises the protection of foetal life over the right of men to give birth - among other issues.

For these reasons people who call themselves women's rights activists are capable of tearing her apart at a conference held on a continent where, to this day, little girls are mutilated so that their families can marry them off still as minors, provided they survive the 'initiation' at all. It is more than thought-provoking... As is the fact that no presentation, no high-flying arguments or revolutionary speeches from such a large-scale conference of a global organization reaches the public. The only newsworthy information is that the Hungarian head of state was there and, as the first female president of Hungary, spoke about how she sees the progress and situation of Hungarian women. Isn't it strange?

I do not know if I even live in the same world as those who call themselves feminists today. But for me, as an ordinary woman, equality does not mean in the least that feminists in the EU are fighting for duty-free tampons, quotas for women and the right of men to give birth. In fact, I have to say that the whole gender issue deeply offends me as a biological woman, because if we live in a world where a man can win a beauty contest, compete in the category of the weaker sex in sports competitions, or even have a child, what is left for me and other non-brainwashed women to do with our own identity and values that stem from our femininity? What kind of feminism deprives women of their inalienable and almost superhuman ability to reproduce themselves? What kind of feminism finds it disgusting if someone wants to have ten children? And what kind of human rights activist considers a woman unworthy to speak if that woman is a declared defender of foetal life and its rights? Is this what equality means in 2023?

The world has turned upside down to such an extent that I sometimes think I am alone in this, but for me this question certainly starts elsewhere. It starts, for example, on a global level, by not calling another woman disgusting at an international conference because she does not spout the same nonsense they do. And real feminists would have a lot to do in everyday life, among ordinary women. For example, for men who want to have children, it's good to know that a mother's role in her child's life is not 'just' to bring him or her into the world. Equality for me means that when a man comes home from work he does not throw himself on the sofa, but recognizes that his wife, who is raising the child, is doing the same work at home and therefore does her share of the housework, and that a woman also needs to rest and that housework is not her privilege.

Equality for me also means that in a job interview I am not asked, overtly or covertly, when I want to have children, how old my children are and whether I plan to have more. It also means that my employer pays me the same as my male colleagues for doing the same job.

Equal opportunities in the labor market, or even in politics, are not about women's quotas that are so fashionable these days. It is about having the same opportunities and the same conditions to enter a competition and win, not because of their gender, but because of their knowledge, hard work and ambition. 

And if they do not choose this path, but choose the family, even a large family as their vocation, they will not be discriminated against. These are the issues that determine the daily life of the average woman in Europe. And yes, although there is still much to be done, it is a step forward here in Hungary to see fathers playing with their children in the playground or carrying a newborn baby. That they can not only be present at the birth, but also experience the intimacy of the 'golden hour' that follows. They can stay at home with the newborn when the mother has to go back to work.

The fact that employers receive tax breaks for women returning from maternity leave, and that there has been a not insignificant increase in state postnatal benefits, has also brought progress. Brazilian activists may find all this demeaning and degrading, but I see it as a step towards true feminism: equality starts on ordinary Mondays, in the workplace, in the manager’s chair, in the wedding room, at home, in the family circle, fighting stereotypes that span generations, within the walls of parliament, or in Rwanda during an unusual speech. If you want to fight for women's rights and opportunities, look here, or don't call yourself a feminist. Those who claim to be feminists today are far from it!

Cover photo: Hungarian President Katalin Novak (Photo: Zoltan Balog)